Elmer's English 304 Magazine


Getting Enough? Try South Andros

Are you getting enough big bones? We have found the hot spot for quintessential bad bones: guaranteed medium to huge. They'll give you the tussle of your dreams. Imagine yourself on a remote island of the Bahamas. You're stomping the deck of a Whipray 17.8 Professional skiff, wearing a tough pair of mellow yellow boots. Lips in Liquid Lip by Revlon, you stalk the mangrove margins for singles or, clutching your fly rod with candy red nails, you ply the creek mouths for doubles. A big bad bone grabs your popper fly, so enticing and disturbingly active. You've got him on!

The outboard thrusts forward. The bonefish pulls at your rod. Yet you are cool. Tonight you'll wear Givenchy perfume. But first it's a jump in the shower preceded by a long soak in the hot tub of our small and comfy, modern hotel, with A/C and DVD equipped TV. Reconnoiter the nearby village, where you will meet the friendly local folk descended from Spanish, Portuguese, French, and Italian buccaneers, with a guaranteed 6 to 1 male to female ratio.

The cozy dining room is the gathering spot for that morning after wakeup or after-dinner recreation, where you can relive conquests with your travelling colleagues. Tomorrow, you might just catch a tan on a secluded, white sand beach, your hair smooth and sleek with one application of Frizz Ease, or try your luck at some other village on South Andros. But right now you've got that big bad bone to handle! Your guide's tousled black hair catches your breath again. He handles the skiff so expertly. You call for the net. He bags the bone. And then you let it go free.

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